g ngerasa amat sangat gagal sebagai temen...

g bilang dia temen terbaik g.. tp g ga lakuin apa2 pas ultahnya... malah org laen yg lbh ga deket lbh care...

g mungkin gagal bgt.....

sorry....

Insecure

i dont know whats happening here... my mom called and i just answered... nothing special.. ordinary.. but right after that i feel like going home.. i cant stand.. somehow... am i feeling insecure? im really in between am i? just now we played l4d.. cause of me, it became 7 people.. suddnly something cropped out.. well, ella, dixon and nick , the other group is khai, jenny, and wei yang.. me? cant take anything though... when they were talking .. im just listening.. thats mostly what im doing.. why cant i take part? why am i have no initiative to express myself? my fault.. but its me, n still me.. im weakened somehow... is it cause of period? so immature...

im hoping u guys now having fun..

im alone...

alone...

alone...

but sometimes i like to be alone when i feel its just me without barrier and mask .. when im really me, maybe someone else that u guys never see inside me...

maybe the conclusion of me about friendship is always about insecurity......

I N S E C U R E....

Hi... I'm totally screwed.. I don't know what's happening within me either.. What am I supposed to do? Whenever I remembered her parents suddenly my tears are just dropping.. A lot!actually what's happening?

g ga tau harus gmn... yg pasti g ga tau knapa g sedih bgt... ni bukan masalah cinta ato cowo..

thanks bgt dah percaya ma g y...

g ga bs ap2.. g cm bs doa bt lu..

ati2 , jangan ad yg ktinggalan...

Bapa , **************************tp Engkaulah yg tau yg terbaik...

berikan dia *********.. y Bapa, aku ga tau knapa aku yg jd sedih bgt... i cant do about anything... i hope everything will be just fine...

g ga tau g bakalan gmn klo g di posisi lu.. meskipun ********* tp ttp aj.. *********.. g ga bs benci bokap g .. g cm agak kecewa n feels so distance... anyway thanks to have ************* i know U always know the best for us..

why is it so hard to write about happy things instead of sad things.. im not always emo.. just sometimes...

im happy that i got a blog.. at least i can write my feelings freely.. and not everyone can read it..

Father, how are u?

i think it has been quite along time we havent chat for a long time..

im happy i know u and i believe that u re exist..

its quite sad that many people think u re not exist and they dont believe that u r capable of anything..

i know an angel u send especially for me.. she is avelyn rite?

she is very cute, and smart i think. she is my guardian i felt like taht when she's around..

thanks God..

Father, suddnely i feel like want to cry..

i dont know why..

i love u Father, help me love u more than anything else in this world.. im so sinful and silly

thanks for ur blessing that made me become ur daughter..

i saw so many people losing their faith ..i dont want to.. please always light my way Father..

thanks Father for my parents and sister and all relatives i have..

i want to pray for my mom, please give her strength to face my father everyday, u must have been watching her struggling through all of this rite? please give her strength Father..

i want to pray for my father also, please let him see U and believe in U.. please change him .. noone can change him except U..

i want to pray for my grandparents and all realtives all confirmed believe in U..

i want to pray for my sister.. she has to face my father everyday.. give her strength, and love , not to hate my father..

i want to pray for myself.. to always forgive and never forget to pray for all of my family members..

Father, i dont know what else to say.. thanks for always guarding me and sending ur angels around me..

forgive me for being a stubborn unfillial daughter of U Father..

thanks for all this opportunity to live, family and all things provided well ...

thanks God...

hellllloooooo....

it has been a long time since i last write rite?

just in need to write...

im again in doubt ... now, new friends and environment.. i need to make friends..

i found them.. but i begin thinking , will my bestfriends forget me? i join my new group.. n seems like i begin not so close with both parties.. im afraid.. of being alone..

not here and not there.. my comfort zone seems like fading.. how??

im in between.. is it at the end i have noone to rely on?

i have God beside me always.. but i also need friends rite? i need them..

well, its just my current story, nobody cares though.. i begin thinking im nobody in anyone's heart or mind.. im just a blow of wind that nobody will ever memorize.. maybe..

im just a blow of wind........ that hoping to be a favourite doll(spongebob or watever)something memorable bu actually i could never be....

nothing is eternal.. including happiness

sorry Father tht im not always find joy in my life.. i suppose to be like that but its not always like that.. please Father, just erase all of this feeling.. im not ok.....